19. “Visualization enables you to design the vision that will occupy your mind, ensuring that the greatest pull on you is your future - a compelling, exciting, limitless future.” ~ Hal Elrod
The regrets of the dying
One of the five biggest regrets of the dying is “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” (source: “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” by Bronnie Ware) which is poignant and sobering. We had better take ownership of how we live our lives, if we don’t want to regret this at the end of our lives. We had better live life fully according to our desires, despite strong influences and opposing opinions from those around us.
As Hal Elrod says, when the vision of your future is exciting and compelling, you’re more likely to be pulled into that vision, you’re in control of designing it, you can design what you want, not what other people in your life want for you. Often we allow others to influence our path so much that it becomes their vision for us, rather than our own authentic, true wants and wishes.
Limited life vs limitless life
I used to live this small life. I didn’t want to stick my neck out, I thought I preferred to be a sheep, following the majority and staying safe in the comfort zone. I believed that because of my heritage, I was destined to always have a collectivist mindset and care about others' perceptions of me, and not do anything daring or courageous that could upset the herd and disturb the status quo.
All the while, I felt dissatisfied and unfulfilled. I knew there was more to life than this little life I was living. But I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do. Life felt limited, and I kept bumping my head against this glass ceiling my limiting beliefs had created. I would catch myself daydreaming about my ideal life. I imagined much grander things: making an impact in the world, helping people everyday, writing books, psycho-educating people, contributing to the world in some way, and then I’d stop myself because who was I to dream so big?!
The power of visualisation
I realised that I was just daydreaming about an idealistic future without the self-belief or the strategies to make it a reality and take action steps. This was a vague wishful thinking, not visualisation!
Six months ago, I had one of the most profound pivotal moments in my life when I learned to visualise this big, daring, exciting and meaningful vision for my future. It has forever changed my perspective. I went in not knowing what was possible and despite not having the full belief I deserved it, I dared to dream big for the first time and trusted the process. That’s when I noticed my motivation level had increased. I was being pulled by the vision of the future! I could then tap into this well of energy to take courageous action steps, despite all the unknowns. This in turn strengthened the belief in myself. I was driven for the first time in my life.
One of these action steps was writing publicly. Everyday I would envision in the morning and feel compelled to do what is necessary, the actual hard work of writing, even when I don’t feel like it. I’m motivated everyday because my why is strong enough. I don’t have any doubts about what I should be spending my precious time, energy and focus on. Even now, I celebrate my consistent effort and progress, despite the resistance, with my accountability partner. As a result, my life has expanded beyond my original hope and expectations.
How to use visualisation as a source of motivation:
Identify what you want for your future. Dare to dream big. Think about what you want to be remembered for at the end of your life. Make the vision vivid and crystal clear. Does it excite you? Is it meaningful to you? What type of person do you need to be to make this happen?
Identify why you want that. Don’t settle for the first reason. Dig deeper by asking five ‘whys’ to reach down to the core reason. This reason must tap into a strong emotion and move you. Does this reason compel you to achieve your vision? It’s important because you will inevitably experience days when you don’t feel like doing the work, when you’re having a bad day, when the going gets tough, and you would want a solid reason why that makes you get up and do the work no matter what.
Now you have your what and why, you can think about how to implement and execute the action towards your vision. What actions would effectively and efficiently get you where you want to go? What are the realistic and manageable steps to get there? How will you break this down into manageable chunks? What would be your daily, weekly, monthly tasks that will pull you closer to your vision?
Decide when you will visualise in the day. Visualise it until the vision of your future moves you. Practise it consistently and daily. Does it excite, energise and motivate you?
Now take the necessary steps daily to get closer to your vision. Be patient with it. Remember hard choices now will grant you an easier life later, but there’s always a delay with outcomes that are worthwhile and meaningful. Trust yourself that you’re on the right path and enjoy the journey.
Keep going! Remember to measure your progress backwards from Day 1 and make sure to celebrate yourself, with or without your accountability partner.
Let’s recap:
A powerful visualisation of the life you want is a source of motivation and energy.
A strong why will help pull you towards taking necessary action when the going gets tough and you experience resistance to do the hard work.
Practise visualisation daily and consistently, follow through with the necessary action steps and watch your life transform.
Now over to you:
Will you take ownership of your future and start a visualisation practice?
How will your life transform if you decided to implement the above steps?
What type of person will you become in this process?
Let me know how it goes!
Until the next issue, take good care of yourself and your loved ones,
Ikuko 💌