3. “Don’t focus on the pain, focus on the progress.” ~ Dwayne Johnson
I used to measure progress like everyone else around me growing up.
I would look at my friends at school and compare: a friend was graded higher in Maths, another friend was graded higher than someone else in English etc. I would take report cards home and my parents would tell me every time that I could have done better…
Now we know that that was a classic, but ineffective, Asian parenting method! But because all my friends at school experienced the same, we believed it was normal. None of us questioned it.
Growing up in a society where our teachers, universities, bosses, employers and parents measured our ability against others and the perfect score, we learned to strive to get there despite vaguely knowing we won’t ever measure up. Because we didn't have an alternative perspective, the perfect-score narrative prevailed. It was truly an impossible and debilitating goal.
Throughout my life, I felt like I wasn’t making any meaningful progress. Any progress I did make felt like an uphill struggle and fleeting and I had a sense that I could slip and go backwards at any moment. I didn’t feel good doing it this way. Can you relate?
Well, there’s another way! It’s never too late to learn that…
We can measure backwards from where we started.
We only compare our current self to our past self (and not to anybody else).
In this way we can observe the progress we made and feel motivated, keep moving forward, and be consistently improving. When we can measure and see the progress, we are proving to ourselves we can do it. Isn’t that the best feeling?
When I stopped comparing myself to others and stayed in my lane, focused on my progress, other people’s perceptions of me started to fall away and I could build a system of improvement. I focused on what I could do currently.
For example in business, I focused on practising and honing the basic skills, working on personal and professional development daily, and on internal processes such as emotion regulation and mental strengthening.
As a strength training beginner, I focused first on the correct form of each exercise and completing the workouts, then training with heavier weights and running faster and further.
For both, I tracked the measurable metrics as evidence of my progress. For instance, on Day 90 of my fitness journey, I could lift 50kg heavier on the leg press than on Day 1.
With the less tangible aspects, I tracked the number of hours, perceived effort and daily habit of showing up. For instance, on Day 60, I could see I had handled a similar situation better than on Day 1 because I showed up to work on my emotion regulation and changed my perspective.
Now I feel I’m making good meaningful progress for myself. I feel satisfied on a daily basis that I’m showing up, putting in the work and staying consistent to what I promised myself I would do.
Proving that to myself is more important to me now than reaching 'perfection' or what other people are doing.
How to measure progress backwards:
Mark the date when you start your project. Take note of how you feel, what you are thinking, where you want to go, take a photo to document this.
Every day for a week, look back to where you started on Day 1.
On Day 7, celebrate yourself for sticking with the new project. The start of anything new is hard and so sticking with it requires attention and effort.
After 30 days, review your progress. What helped you to keep at it? What made it challenging? Ask yourself how you feel and what you’re now thinking about this project.
Notice that what you found challenging on Day 1 doesn’t seem as challenging on Day 30. Write down all your observations to reflect back on. Celebrate this milestone.
After Day 60, review your progress again. How do you feel? What lessons have you learned? Celebrate this milestone. Amazing work!
Again after Day 90, review your progress. Write down your observations and reflections about this project. Celebrate yourself for sticking with it for 90 days!
Celebrating yourself for getting to the milestones is crucial and I will write about it more in the next issue.
*If you want to make this more enjoyable and powerful, find an accountability partner and do it together. Choose someone you respect, whose opinion matters to you. You’re more likely to stick to the plan.*
So, let me ask you:
Will you measure your progress backwards?
What will you start measuring? I’d love to know how it goes.
Until the next issue, take good care of yourself and your loved ones,
Ikuko 💌